Aisha has been a mother for eight years; first to Anton, and then to her twin girls Anita and Amalia, who are four. But she'll tell you that the moment she truly felt like she became a mother wasn't in a hospital room. It was when Anton was three, testing boundaries in the way only a three-year-old can, and Aisha found herself at a crossroads: repeat the patterns she was raised with, or choose something different.

She chose differently. What followed was a quiet, courageous journey of unlearning, healing, and deciding with great intention what kind of love she wanted to raise her children in. Aisha's home is warm and considered, and so is she.

How would you describe the moment motherhood really landed for you? Not necessarily the birth but the moment it truly hit you.

I think motherhood really settled in for me when Anton was around 3, when he started testing boundaries in his own little way. It was a tender and confronting time and realised I didn’t quite know how to respond in a way that felt right.

I was raised in a more strict household, and while I understand it came from love, I knew in my heart I wanted something different for him. That’s when I truly felt like a mum. I realised I’m not just caring for him, but I’m responsible for the kind of love I was raising him with.

"I wanted to raise my children in love, not fear. And for that, I had to be willing to gently learn, unlearn, and begin healing parts of my own childhood."

How has becoming a mother changed the way you see yourself?

When I was younger, I often worried about what others thought of me and looked for validation outside of myself. I believed I wasn’t a people person and found it hard to connect, not realising how much of that came from my own insecurities.

Becoming a mother changed that. The love I felt for my children was unlike anything I had ever known. I knew then that I needed to work on myself, so my children could grow up able to build meaningful and genuine relationships.

Now, I no longer seek validation outside of myself. I feel more genuinely happy and have healthy boundaries. I’m more open, and more able to connect and empathise with people. I’ve learned to give grace to myself and to others. And I feel grounded in knowing there is always room to grow. It’s something I try to teach to my children whenever there’s a chance.

Describe a good day in your home right now. What does it look, feel, and sound like?

A good day in our home is when everyone is well and we’re all being gentle and considerate with each other.

What is the smallest, most ordinary moment in your day that you secretly love the most?

Bedtime with my kids is the most special part of my day. It’s the time for me. To reconnect and to amend with them. We share stories about our day, and hug until they are all asleep.

What has motherhood taught you about yourself that nothing else could have?

Motherhood has taught me that everyone’s feelings and stories matter. It’s helped me become more aware. I’ve learned to think of my children before myself, in a healthy and loving way, while still growing as my own person.

Is there something you used to believe about parenting, before you became a parent that has completely changed?

I used to believe that being a parent would come naturally to me, that it was something innate. But I’ve come to realise that parenting is an ongoing learning process. It’s okay to seek out approaches that truly resonate with you, even if they’re different from what you grew up with.

At the same time, it’s not about abandoning your roots, but becoming more intentional in choosing what you want to carry forward and what you want your children to grow up with, rather than simply following something out of habit.

What is the one feeling you hope your child/children carry with them from their childhood?

I hope they will always feel safe to come to me even when they grow up. That they won’t fear judgment, but instead know that mum will be there for them, steady and loving, no matter what.

What lesson, big or small, do you most want to pass on?

I’ve told my son before that it’s okay to make mistakes. Mum makes mistakes too, and I still do and that’s okay. That’s part of being human. What matters most is that we learn from those mistakes and continue becoming better versions of ourselves.

I also want him to understand not to carry unnecessary worry, but to trust God with everything and to try our best to live a life that is good, honest, and grounded in faith.

When your children are grown, what do you hope they say about their early years at home?

When I think about my childhood, I think about my late dad. Life was really hard back then, but he tried his best to be present and to show us his love. I have this memory of him hugging me so tightly and giving me a kiss on my forehead. It’s a moment I still carry with me, and it always brings comfort whenever it comes to mind.

I think this is what I want my children to remember too. I hope they will feel safe and comforted when they think about their early years at home. More than anything, I hope they can say they felt deeply loved.

Photos taken by Wellington photographer Jess Manthey. Featured throughout the story is the Rylee Recliner in Cloud. Discover more colours online HERE.